Betrayal

My heart is broken. I thought we had something real, but all you do is hurt me. All I ever did was love you and cherish you, and you betrayed me. When I was with you, I felt like I could conquer anything. When we were together, I could see jealousy in the other girls' eyes because they wanted what I had -- what we had together. You made me feel pretty. You made me feel special. But now I know the truth. You're no good for me. It's over.

That's right, beautiful pink Brooks Pure Cadence shoes -- we're through. I've loved these shoes more than any other pair I've owned. But alas, I have suffered great shin splints. About two weeks ago, I finally gave up on these babies.

My shins and calves hurt so bad during the first few minutes of every run that it made me limp and changed my stride, which is never good news. Even on rest days, my legs hurt when I was just walking around. I thought I eased into neutral shoes, but apparently I ramped up my mileage in them too quickly.

So now I'm back in my trusty old Nike Zoom Structures. I loved them once too, but now, after having something small and sleek and cute, they feel like giant mom shoes. Not cute at all. But my legs are no longer stabby and my runs are pain free, so I guess that's what's important. I'll still wear my Brooks to the gym, because, ya know, fashion statement. And I'll still wear them on super short runs and attempt to use them more gradually. But they won't be my one and only anymore. It just wasn't meant to be.

Sigh.

18 miles and counting

A lot can happen in 18 miles. On Saturday, Trea and I ran our longest distance ever. 18 big ones. After my bad experience trudging through 16 miles, I did not have high hopes for this run. But it was awesome! I felt strong the entire time and had plenty of energy to get to the end. I still can't believe I ran that far and actually had fun doing it.

We ran a new route that went through places we were somewhat familiar with, but areas where we usually don't run. It was so nice to have a change of scenery. We ran past the city airport and watched planes take off and land, saw about 47 little kid soccer games and were serenaded by a Latino garage band. I almost stopped and loved on some free puppies that were being given away on the side of the road, but I made myself keep going. It was a beautiful, happy day.

I stopped at a gas station around mile 7 to get some ice and refill my water bottle, and we were already starting to get hungry. After about 10.5 miles, we ran past a Popeyes, and I was doing fine, trucking right along...until the smell hit me. Trea and I both smelled fried chicken and biscuits at the same time and just couldn't resist. We were starving and still had quite a ways to go. I had packed Shotbloks and strawberry Newtons to eat along the way, and I had 8 oz. of Accelerade for an extra boost, but all that stuff suddenly seemed pretty nasty compared to hot, buttery biscuits. So we stopped our watches, walked in all stinky and covered in a thick layer of salt and ordered three biscuits and some water. The lady behind the counter was not too excited about touching my debit card, but I didn't let her snobby attitude get me down. People in the restaurant were staring at us, but we were too hungry and exhausted to care. We took off our gear, plopped down at a table and destroyed some biscuits. YUM.

After a few minutes of rest, we topped off our water supplies and headed back out for 7.5 more. The rest of the run was new territory for me, with much of it on bike trails in Rogers, where I never run. It was sunny and breezy and the fall leaves were beautiful. At around mile 15, we made another quick pit stop. We were just getting started again, ready for the home stretch when the unthinkable happened. I was standing there talking to Trea, waiting for the crosswalk to change, and SMACK, I felt a hard thud on my head, like an acorn had fallen out of a tree. But there weren't any trees.

I got pooped on by a bird! Thank goodness I had a hat on, but it was still disgusting. Luckily, I had packed kleenex, so I was able to clean up a little. An hour later, Trea was still laughing at me.

Even with the bird incident, this was still one of my favorite runs so far. Getting through that distance -- and getting through it feeling good and staying strong -- was huge for me. I feel a lot more confident about finishing a marathon now, but at the same time, I'm still nervous about 26.2. Although I didn't get so tired that I had to take walk breaks on this run, I got little breaks at stoplights, crosswalks, bathroom stops and breaks while I consulted my route notes to figure out where to go. I won't get any breaks like that during a race. Pretty sure I won't have a chance to swing by Popeyes either, so nutrition is a big concern for me. I still don't know what to eat that I can carry with me. I can't eat Shotbloks for 5 hours straight. I can't even get through a whole package without feeling sick. They're just too sweet. On my next long run, I'm planning to pack a PB&J and see how that goes. I need to figure out what works for me in race conditions -- without a bunch of stopping and without a piping hot biscuit.

I don't know what to eat, but at least I know what to wear. I got my first pair of real, legit running tights last week!

No more Old Navy yoga pants for this girl! I feel like a real runner now. They look black in the first photo, but they actually have a fun design so I'll look FAST. (Ha!!)

I'm hoping Memphis brings some cold weather on December 3 so I can put these to good use! They're Nike Pro tights with a soft fleecey lining, so I'm hoping they'll keep my legs toasty warm this winter.

Only 31 days till the St. Jude Memphis Marathon, and just 10 days till my first 20-mile run.

I'm ready!!

Obstacles and Solutions

I'm only 18 days away from my 5K, and I've struggled the last couple of weeks, worried that I won't be able to run the full race without walking (and without finishing dead last). It's been really tough lately. It's also been hot and dry, until just recently. The pond at my favorite running spot dried up and made the park and trail awful to visit. My mysterious ankle pain returned, even though I've been wearing my professionally-fitted running store recommended shoes. My RunKeeper app stopped working and I got frustrated that my mileage wasn't being recorded accurately. I've struggled through the right gear and fuel so I don't flake out in the middle of a run. I still don't have it all figured out, but today I finally had a pretty good run and feel better about things.

Fuel
Running requires fuel. I need to be hydrated, but not drink too much. I need to eat so I don't feel weak with hunger during a run, but I can't eat too much or I'll feel sick. I've been drinking water and avoiding Gatorade because I didn't want to add any calories to my day. But I've decided G2 has a fraction of the calories in Gatorade, and it makes me feel tons better, so it's worth it. Also, I've learned peanut butter and crackers are little miracles before a run in between work and dinner. It tides me over without making me full. A friend recommended that I eat Skittles, which I think is a fantastic idea, since I already have a mild addiction to them. I'm slowly getting this fuel thing figured out and learning what my body can and can't handle.

Gear
When my RunKeeper app started acting up, I was so upset. I knew Nike+ didn't record accurate mileage, and I was at a loss over what to do. Somehow spending over $150 on a Garmin just didn't seem appealing. But then Nike+ e-mailed me and said they had changed their cheating ways and wanted to get back together! For only $1.99! So I downloaded a new Nike+ app on my iPhone for two bucks, and I don't need the shoe sensor anymore.

It works through GPS and some other magical technology that can even track my mileage when I run INDOORS! I don't know what Nike+ is thinking, providing such a great app for practically peanuts, but so far, it's working great. The GPS has been accurate when I run outside, and it kinda blows my mind that it knows how far I'm running inside at the gym. I am loving it! I love it because it works, but hearing a silly congratulatory message from Tracy Morgan when I do a good job doesn't hurt either.

Overcoming Weakness
My ankle pain returned a couple of weeks ago. It wasn't as painful as it was before I switched to my Brooks shoes for overpronators, but it was still noticeable and getting worse each time I ran. So I finally gave in to the idea of barefoot running and all the amazing stories I read in Born to Run. Born to Run is a book that would make the laziest of sloths want to get up and race around the countryside. It's filled with inspiring stories, but it also contains compelling arguments about why we shouldn't wear giant, thick-soled protective shoes. Because we truly were born runners. All humans can do it. All humans can't do it well, as I'm proving, but everyone is capable. In Born to Run, the author says that if we encase our feet in protective padding, our feet can't get strong. And our feet can't tell our legs and our brains how we need to move so we won't get hurt. So I took a chance and got some new shoes. I'm not running barefoot by any means, but I got a pair of Nike Free running shoes, which is a slimmer, much more flexible version of other Nikes.

I ran on Sunday for the first time in my Nike Frees. It was totally weird. For the first time ever, I was very aware of my toes. Instead of striking on my heel and slapping my toe to the ground as I do with my huge Brooks shoes, which look like boats on my feet, I can now control and change the way my foot hits the ground. The shoe is flexible enough that it lets me run however my legs need to run, and it makes my feet and legs work a lot harder. There's no two-inch sole to spring me forward anymore. I didn't run very far because I didn't want to overdo it. But today, I tried my usual 30-minute run in them, and I didn't have any ankle pain. I did, however, have serious foot and calf cramps. I had to slow down and walk a few times because my muscles were so tense and tight. They're having to work so much harder than before, and it was too much for me to handle. I'm thinking of switching back to the Brooks on some runs because I don't want these Nikes to throw me off for the race. I have a hard enough time as it is when everything feels "good." Getting new shoes less than a month before a race is probably not the best idea, but I want to do whatever I can to get stronger. So far, I think Nike Free is the way to accomplish that.

My Route
I have a place where I like to run, but I haven't been able to go there lately. It's been too hot to run outside at all, but my place in particular has been extra awful. It's a pond filled with geese, but the pond dried up and the geese stayed. There was an unpleasant smell and what little water was left turned green. It was a sad sight. But it finally rained! And rained and rained and rained. And now the pond is full and there's water flowing under all the little bridges along the path. I'm going back to my safe zone with pretty views and semi-flat running path. This place makes me happy.

My Motivation
I haven't quite finished the PodRunner program, but I'm finished with PodRunner. I can (sometimes) run 30 minutes without stopping, and I still need to work up to 35 before I "graduate," but there's only so much techno dance music I can stand. So now I'm working on the ultimate playlist to keep me going when I want to collapse. My taste in music is probably pretty odd compared to most people. I like songs that are slow and mellow almost all the time. So my iPod library is not meeting my needs when it comes to motivational running music. When I'm cooking or driving, I love Death Cab, but that just won't cut it when I'm running in the summer heat and gasping for air. I downloaded some new songs, and I was in love with my playlist today.

Sweet Pea - Amos Lee
All Cause of You - The 88
Pumped Up Kicks - Foster the People
Bad Sun - The Bravery
Help I'm Alive - Metric
Crossfire - Brandon Flowers
Out of the Blue - Julian Casablancas
Good Life - OneRepublic
Why Don't We Just Dance - Josh Turner
I'll Stop the World and Melt with You - Modern English

Go Literacy!

I registered for my first 5K. I'll be running the Go Literacy! 5K on October 2 in Bentonville, benefiting the Literacy Council of Benton County. Somehow, August flew by and this race is only five weeks away! Yikes. I am all kinds of nervous.

When I set my goal to be able to run a 5K, the idea was to actually RUN the whole time and not walk. That's where it gets tough. I'm on level 7 of PodRunner, which is a 5-minute warm up, 25 minute run, and a 5 minute cool down. I've tried this three times, and I've only managed to finish once. The first time I tried was super tough, but I ran the full 25 minutes. But the last two times I've gone out, I end up walking here and there for a minute or so, which sends my confidence and mood plummeting. I should add that Trea runs the whole 25 minutes every time and is out of sight immediately, not to be seen again until we meet back at the car. Again, this does nothing for my confidence or mood. Nothing pleasant, anyway.

PodRunner is a 10-level program, and I have five weeks before the race. So I should be able to finish up just fine and be able to make it, right? Sure. We'll see. The month of September is packed with birthdays, business travel and fun travel, so it's going to be a real challenge to stay on track (no pun intended) and run three times a week.

I'm beginning to wonder if I can actually do this. I don't mean run a 5K; I'll deal with that. I mean, I don't know if I'm cut out to be a runner. I've had a few runs during the last few months that felt really good. I was excited to be out, enjoying nature, happily people-watching and trucking along to the end, slow and steady. But the majority of the time, I struggle with finding the right balance of fuel and sleep so that I don't end up a hot mess on the trail. I start strong, but after about 10 minutes, my feet feel like lead and I start thinking how stupid it is that I'm running in circles instead of taking a nap. Everyone - and by everyone, I mean Trea - makes it seem easy. But I'm having to really push myself to keep going - even when I'm burning up and drenched in sweat, but my skin feels cold and tingly. I don't think that's normal. When I feel like that, I take a walk break. But should I? Should I keep running through the cold tingles and push myself harder? Maybe that's what hard work feels like. Or maybe it's a warning sign before heat exhaustion sets in. I'm really not sure.

I read Runners World and get grandiose ideas of training for a half marathon and traveling to beautiful locations to run in gorgeous places I've never seen before. And then I go out on a local trail and have to stop for a breather on a 2-mile run, while everyone else blows by me. I'm not sure running is for me.

But at least until October 2, I'm going to rock my new Nike booty shorts I got last week at Academy and keep on working until I can run my 5K. Go Literacy!

RunKeeper

It was tough to say goodbye, but I've already found a replacement for Nike+. Trea discovered the RunKeeper app for iPhone and talked me into trying it out. For the bargain price of $9.99, I can use GPS to track my runs, and it doesn't require calibration like Nike+. RunKeeper shows me my route, displays my time, distance and all sorts of fun stuff. I call it the poor man's Garmin. Here's what a run looks like when I log onto the computer.

It's awesome because the app sends the info from my phone immediately, and I don't have to sync my phone to iTunes in order to track my progress. It will also upload my stats to Facebook and Twitter as soon as I finish a run. I might do that one of these days when my stats are less embarrassing. It seems to be more accurate than Nike+, which is good, but at the same time, it's disheartening. Nike+ told me I was going farther and faster than I actually am. Here's a screen shot of the app after a run. 14:07 was my average pace! Yikes!

In my defense, it was crazy hot and I walked a lot more than I normally do. However, even if I had run more, I'm still a slow runner. I just didn't realize how slow! But I'm glad that I have a new gadget that seems to be working. It may seem silly to spend so much time to find something to analyze my workout, but counting my mileage and tracking my average pace is what keeps me going. Seeing those miles add up and seeing my pace improve (in theory) gives me the encouragement I need to go out and run another day.

Yesterday, Trea and I went to our local Farmers Market for the first time ever! I can't believe we've lived here for so long without checking this place out. It was a beautiful Saturday, and we were up early enough to beat the heat. I think we were the only people there without a dog. 

We got some fresh bread, okra and the most gorgeous heirloom tomatoes I've ever seen. Today, Trea made caprese sandwiches with these beauties on ciabatta, and they were amazing! When tomato juice drips down your elbow, you know it's good. Ah, the taste of summer!

That's it; we're through!

I think I'm breaking up with Nike+. It has totally let me down and driven me crazy. My run on Saturday, as my pal Kel would say, was E-motional, and today's run wasn't super.

Even though I only run for about 30 minutes, that's the only time I get all day for uninterrupted focus. My mind can wander to all sorts of places while I'm running around in a circle at the goose pond. When I started my run Saturday, I was already in a bad mood. It was a good day for mood swings I guess. I knew it would be my last time to run on level three before moving up to level four on PodRunner, and I was worried about finishing.

Trea and I got a very late start Saturday, so I was mad at him for making us run in the dark. Then I was mad at the people who let their giant 80-pound dog poop on the trail. I was mad that the front side of the pond smelled like goose poop and made me want to gag. These geese, by the way, are the reason I don't usually run all the way around the pond. I try to stay away from their hangout by the parking lot, but on Saturday we were out so late the geese had gone to bed. I took this picture today, and it does not do them justice. There are usually three times that many standing in the middle of the trail.

As I was running and getting annoyed and angry at every little thing that was wrong with the day, I noticed that I was running really well. I wasn't too tired. My legs didn't hurt, and every breath I took was satisfying instead of that awful feeling I get when I'm sucking wind and it seems like my lungs won't fill up all the way. So I decided to change my attitude. It takes less energy to smile than to frown, right? So I forced myself to smile for a second, and it truly helped my mood.

I remembered when I was in high school, I kept a gratitude journal. I used to write down three things each day that I was thankful for. As I ran, I started to make a mental list. My first thought was of my dad. His story is a long one, but I'll keep it short here. My strong, active, outdoorsy father was in a horrific motorcycle accident in April 2009. He not only broke most of the bones in his body, but he crushed and shattered them. Over the last 14 months, I've watched him struggle and work and sweat to relearn things that we all take for granted - like brushing your hair. This time last year we were rejoicing over his holding a cup without any help. Now I'm watching him learn to walk and fight with all his energy to not be in a wheelchair anymore. And I get overwhelmed when I have to run for three minutes at a time?! Dad is strong, and I can be too. I'm thankful that I can run, and I'm thankful that he can stand.

And right in the middle of all those deep, emotional thoughts, I inhaled a gnat right up my nose. And man, I was mad! But I thought, just keep going, just keep going, almost there. I'll be thankful for this sweatband on my wrist, so I have a place to expel that gnat. Yep. Thankful for the sweatband. Just keep calm and keep running.

At the end of level three, there's a 4-minute walk to cool down. My legs felt so good I decided to see if I could run to the end of the music for 4 minutes - longer than I've ever run before. I did it! It was hard, but I made it all the way to the end, and I knew that I'd be able to move up to the next level after that little test. I couldn't wait for the Nike+ lady to tell me what a good job I had done. I just knew that I had set a new personal record pace with all that running. When I listened to my results, Nike+ lady said, "Workout time: 27 minutes. Workout distance: 0.00 miles. Average pace: 0." And I promptly burst into tears. Crazy E-motional. So much for being thankful and not sweating the small stuff.

Today, Trea and I ran for the first time on level four. Trea has already broken up with Nike+ because of its unreliable ways, so he was using a new iPhone app that tracks his route with GPS. We both ran our tails off! We ran slower today to try to pace ourselves because we knew it was going to be tough. Level four is two 3-minute runs and two 5-minute runs. Five minutes straight!! TWICE! And we finished! The run was so hard, and the weather was wicked humid, but it felt good to get through the end and not give up.

When Trea and I compared our stats, our mileage didn't match. His said he went 3 miles, and mine said 3.7 miles. That can't be right because he's faster and always runs a little farther than I do. He argued that his mileage was correct because his GPS app is more reliable than Nike+. When we analyzed how both programs work, I realized I had calibrated my Nike+ all wrong! Over a month ago! So you see that widget over there on the right? It's not true. I have no idea how far I've actually run. Trea thinks my total mileage is around 35 miles instead of 43. Unfortunately, he's probably right.

So, bye-bye Nike+. We had a good run.

On the road again

Trea and I have had a great holiday weekend. We relaxed a lot, tidied the house, and Trea worked in the yard all day Sunday. Now we are growing tomatoes, squash, oregano, parsley and basil. I can't wait to make a fresh salad!

On Saturday, I went to Rush Running to try to solve my ankle pain problem. They watched me run and recorded my feet with a handy dandy video camera that's mounted on the floor at the back of a treadmill. Then they played the video back for me in slow-mo and showed me that I overpronate. (For more info on what that means, go here.) Thankfully, my problems stem from having the wrong shoes for my stride or gait or whatever the running term is. Turns out I'm not incapable of running (for now)! I just bought some super cute Nike Pegasus running shoes in May, and they still look brand new. It stinks to have to buy another pair of shoes, but I was willing to try anything to get back out on the road. The folks at Rush recommended Brooks Adrenaline GTS 10's, and I LOVE them -- even though they made me go up a half size and they look like boats on my short legs. These shoes are supposed to stabilize my ankles and keep them straight. 

The sales guy even showed me some exercises I can do at home to strengthen my ankles and try to prevent any future issues. I LOVE Rush Running! The service I got there was a thousand times better than the "service" I got at Hibbett Sports, where I bought my Nikes. That conversation went something like:

Me: I just started running, and I'm not sure what shoes I need.

Hibbett: What kind of shoes do you like?

Me: That's the problem. See, I just started, so I don't know. I'm not sure what's right for me.

Hibbett: Well, let me know if I can get anything for you from the back.

Me: *Sigh*

Trea and I ran three miles today, and so far, I'm pretty much pain free. I still feel some pain in my ankles, but it seems more like leftover pain that hasn't quite healed yet. There weren't any shooting pains that made me limp this time, so that was nice. After taking a week off, I wasn't able to move up to level four on PodRunner. We stayed on level three, and I'll likely stay on that one until the end of the week. It's amazing how much momentum I can lose in only seven days. After sitting around for so long on the couch with my feet propped up, I barely made it through today's run. But I didn't quit, and my pace improved since I wasn't running weird to compensate for joint pain. My issue now is entire body pain, which means I need to get back on schedule and build up my endurance. It also means I feel incredibly old.

Speaking of old, I'm going to see Aerosmith in Las Vegas in a few weeks! I'm SO excited. To ensure I got tickets the day they went on sale, I joined the Aero Force One fan club. (Yeah, I know.) By joining the fan club, I got to buy tickets early, and they're supposed to be in the first few sections near the stage. Being a fan club member means I also get a super awesome t-shirt, which arrived on Saturday. Just one more reason it's been a great weekend!

And yes, that's a membership card. It has my name on it. It's not like I'm gonna carry it in my wallet.

Day One, Take Two

I ran again tonight for the first time in 10 days, so I'm pretty much starting over. This challenge has taught me that I can't just drop an exercise regimen into my existing schedule. This is going to require change. After I ran last week, I almost immediately felt like I was coming down with a cold and was sick for the rest of the week. Now I know that I need twice as much sleep to let my body recharge. Bedtime will have to change drastically, which means the rest of my day will have to be managed more efficiently.

After I got over my illness, I still didn't run for a few days because I was busy with some household projects. I helped Trea stain our deck.

And now it's beautiful.

And I changed our bedroom from this:

To this:

We planned to run on Tuesday, but that was the day of the great flood, after which we were delighted by this:

So after all our hard work, tonight I ran. I decided just to go out in our neighborhood instead of taking extra time to drive to the park. About five minutes into it, I remembered something very important: we live on a mountain! I'm still using Podrunner, which alternates walking and running to build up stamina, but today I also used Nike Plus for the first time. Now I have a sensor in my shoe that keeps track of my progress and coordinates with my iPhone. As I listen to music with my iPhone, a female Nike Plus voice will come over the speakers and tell me how I'm doing. As I was running as hard as I could up a very steep hill, I heard her say, "Activity stopped," and my music went silent. Activity STOPPED? Seriously?? Well, thank you very much, Nike Plus. Apparently my pace was so pathetic that my shoe sensor thought I had retired to the sofa. I let the Nike Plus lady know she better check again. I was able to restart my music and track my workout where it left off. It was a little irritating to be insulted by my own phone, but at the same time, I definitely needed a boost. Classifying my hardest effort into "activity stopped" was just the motivation I needed to get to the top of the hill.

I have a profile on Nike's website, and each time I sync my iPhone with my computer, my running progress will automatically be entered onto the site. You can see it here: http://my.nike.com/ataylor13. Today I logged 2.05 miles in 28:27 minutes. That includes both running and walking. I have a long way to go before I can run two miles, but I'm determined. Now that I know how difficult this will be for me, I can plan appropriately and get back on track.